Catching Up

Wow, have I really not blogged since the first day of Spring?  I will tell you, I've had a lot going on. 

Right about the first day of Spring, I submitted my request to re-take the test from Hell, the one I failed in January.  I held out and held out, not knowing if I could put myself through all the agony again.  I finally decided I would try once more; if I didn't pass this time, I would console myself with the knowledge that I had done my best, tried my hardest, that I was just not meant to be successful in this endeavor, blah, blah, blah.  The day I logged onto the website to pay my additional $400 just happened to be the last possible day I could have submitted my request before being asked for a late fee payment.  The studying began.

Although I had been through all the material before, I wanted to be so prepared this time that I could teach a prep class or write test questions.  My plan for 10 hours' weekly study quickly jumped to 15 as I poured over the material and quizzed myself again and again on the flashcards.  By the Friday before the test, I was spending 8 hours a day studying.

If the test were nothing but rote recall, I would have sailed through it.  For this test, though, a person has to be able to apply the materials to multiple scenarios, using deductive reasoning to arrive at the best possible answer.  Although the prep website gives 1040 sample questions, none of them are found in the 225-question test.  And although there are 753 flashcards testing knowledge of terms used throughout the prep material, I was not so blessed as to have a simple question like, "Please give the definition of..." 

When I sat in front of the testing terminal in January, I felt like Alice plopping into a chair at the Mad Hatter's table during tea.  I wondered where these questions were coming from and how I could have studied so hard and still had no idea what they were asking.  I needed a weighted score of 500 to pass but received a 497.  Ugh! 

This time, I had a strategy for the test-taking:

1) I would take potty and water breaks if needed.  It is, after all, very distracting to "hold it" for four hours.
2) I would "mark" every question I didn't feel 100% confident about so that, if time allowed, I would be able to re-evaluate those answers after getting through all 225 questions.
3) I would use the white board provided to write down little ways I had of remembering things. For instance, to remember the proper order of the seven phases of learning (Knowledge, Comprehension, Application, Analysis, Synthesis, Evaluation) I wrote King Charles Ate Apples Sunday Evening.  Sad, I know. 
4) I would practice deep-breathing while reciting the 23rd Psalm anytime I felt my mind wondering. 

All that prep, all that extra confidence, all that strategy, and I still found myself at the Mad Hatter's table.  This time, though, I received a "congratulations" after I pressed submit rather than a "we regret to inform you".  Yes!  I can now call myself a Senior Professional of Human Resources.  I think I cried more this time than when I failed in January.  I called my husband and cried with him and then noticed I had a voicemail message from the office.

Right about the time I wrapped from my test, the State surveyors came to my worksite to complete their annual survey.  Doesn't sound like a big deal.  Unless you've ever been through it. 

The only entity that is more closely scruitinized than the long-term care industry is NASA.  And, since they're kind of going out of business, I guess we'll be taking the top spot in the future.  A survey typically starts on a Tuesday and ends on a Friday and can come anytime between nine and fifteen months after the start of the last full survey.  The workdays are easily 12 hours in length during this time as the leadership team strives to report each day before the team arrives, does everything possible to support the staff, and recaps each day after the team leaves.  We got kind of lucky this year, since the team announced upon arrival that they would wrap things up by Thursday because of something else they had going on Friday. 

We also had Sanctuary training scheduled for Thursday and Friday, which brings stresses unique to that learning environment.  People share.  Deeply.  And tears are shed.  And we are reminded why we are in the business we're in.  And we grow from it.  And we're determined and committed to do even greater things in the future.  But we're emotionally spent in the end. 

On my way home Friday, I called my stylist and arranged for a hair appointment at 11:00 on Satuday.  "Great," I thought.  "I've had such a long week.  I think I'll relax tonight, go see Dad around 9:30 tomorrow morning, get a little pampered at 11:00, and enjoy the rest of the my weekend."  At 10:20 that night, my husband received a call from my brother-in-law.  My dad was not doing well, and his assisted living nurse had requested that any family available come to his bedside as soon as possible. 

I was there in two shakes and sat with my dad until about 2:30 the following morning.  My sister and her husband spent the night in his room, and I relieved her again about 1:30 Saturday afternoon.  That time where it was just my dad and me, from 1:30 until 7:00, is a time I will never forget.  He was completely non-responsive and had been since about 6:30 the night before, but I believe he was fully present.  I cried over him and prayed over him.  I told him everyone was waiting for him on the Other Side and that all six of his kids would be right along behind him.  I sang to him, my voice broken by sobs but getting stronger the longer I kept at it.  I read scripture to him about heaven, and together we dreamed what it might be like.  He died at 12:45 on Sunday morning, May 22.  Though we will all miss him, we are thrilled that he no longer has to wait to see my mother again.  We praise the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who has drawn my father close to his breast and gazed into his sky-blue eyes and uttered the words we all long to hear:  "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." 

I tell you all this not so you will pity me but so you will see God's great love in action.  God knew all these things would happen to me since my last blog entry.  If he had told me everything way back in March, I probably would have collapsed under the weight of it all.  As it was, though, he led me.  He took my hand and led me through, one step at a time, and so carefully orchestrated it all that I had only to rely on Him in his great mercy and love and strength. 

Yes, I've had a lot going on, and that's how I like it.  As I sit on this Memorial Day morning, it occurs to me that I need another goal to shoot for.  I have decided I will walk, like I talked about doing on the first day of Spring.  I will walk between now and Labor Day, a total of 14 weeks.  My goal for this period is to log 500,000 steps.  At this point, my pedometer reads 88...I have a little ways to go. 

Are you up for the challenge?  Will you join me on this journey?  I'll spend the steps talking to God, allowing him to lead me, allowing his love to encompass me, to strengthen me, to sustain me.  With each step, I will grow further in His knowledge and understanding, of His will for my life.  And I will be stronger for it. 

Enjoy your day.  Enjoy this blog.