Where my Path Took me in Weeks Two and Three

I'm now at 94,777 steps on my walking journey with God and loving every minute of it.  405,223 steps to go. 

God has taught me so much, or reminded me of so much, since I last shared.  I'm reminded how He has my best interest at heart...how He longs for relationship with His children, how He relishes it.  I am reminded that His voice is a soothing balm and that I have only to open His word to know His truth and to understand His will for my life.  My greatest lesson is that God will give me multiple opportunities each day to reflect His love, His glory, in my daily interactions with others.  This walk has kept me more alert to those opportunities. 

Last weekend, my husband and I travelled with his son, Travis, to a wedding in Wisconsin.  John knew the families there from years of hunting in the area.  He brought his son with him on some of those hunts, especially the last few years.  So Travis knew the people there, enjoyed them, counted them as friends of his own.  Of course, he would want to go to the wedding if we were going.  Can I be honest, though?  Can I be selfishly, transparently, bluntly truthful?  I wanted to go with John, not with John and Travis.  (Ouch!)  I was looking forward to a weekend with just my husband and me, as they are very rare. 

Travis has been playing soccer pretty much since he could walk and has been on travel teams the last several years.  Often, then, even when Travis is scheduled to be with his mom, John is ever-loyal to sitting along the sidelines, cheering the team on, whether for practice or for games.  Add to that hunting, both turkey season in the Spring and deer season in the Fall...no way does it matter if it's John's scheduled weekend...those two will be out, though they do kind of wimp out if it's rainy or windy. 

In order for Travis to go to the wedding, he would have to miss the last soccer game of the season.  He would also have to miss a day of driver's education and reschedule one of his drive dates.  Since he had taken on a summer job of mowing the lawn for a local business, he would have to factor that responsibility separate from the days we would be gone.  His last day of school for the year would be Wednesday; could he mow on Thursday?  To top it all off, this weekend, Travis was scheduled to be with his mom.  He also had no knowledge that we were even planning to go to out of state to witness the nuptuals.  (Sneaky, sneaky.) 

As the days drew nearer, John made comments like, "Travis said he sure would like to go to that wedding, but I didn't say anything."  "I was thinking we could get a hotel room with two queen-sized beds so that Travis could go, but I'll leave it up to you."  "It'd be nice for the three of us to get away together, but whatever you decide is fine with me." 

I wanted to be selfish.  I really wanted to be the center of my husband's world this weekend.  But I knew my decision would be to include Travis is our plans.  If I did otherwise, I would hurt him, would hurt our relationship, the relationship that has been painstakingly fostered and cultivated since John and I began dating in 2002. 

Creating and maintaining a blended family has been the most difficult undertaking of my life.  With my own kids, I have all those years of history.  I've put so many positive contributions into their "emotional bank accounts" that, if I need to make a withdrawal by making a snap decision or not speaking as lovingly as I should, it doesn't have a significant impact.  My own children are quick to forgive and move on with our already solid relationship.  But with a step kid?  In a blended family situation, even if a kid knows in his heart of hearts that his mom and dad will never get back together, marriage to another person solidifies that.  The new wife or husband bears the blame of breaking the two up in the child's mind, even if that relationship began years after the original relationship ended.  The slightest reprimand, even a simple request by the step parent that the step kid turn the living room light on as he passes can send the kid sulking to his room.  Right?  No.  Fair?  It doesn't feel like it to me.  Reality?  Yes, at least in my experience. 

So, as much as I wanted things my way, we invited Travis.  He readily accepted, re-arranging everything in his life to make it happen, and our relationship grew.  He was able to witness my social interactions with others.  He threw me a few rolls of the eyes when a girl about his age wouldn't stop pestering him at the reception.  We shared a few jokes.  We had a couple of one-on-one discussions that weekend that I would count as significant.  None of this ever would have happened if I had just done what I wanted.  An extra bonus that I didn't anticipate:  I drew closer to my husband as well because of my decision to include his son. 

He may not always realize now what others do for him, but hopefully Travis will look back years from now and appreciate the cumulative affect efforts like these had on his stability and well-being.  Hopefully he'll feel a little more loved, a little more drawn to finding out what makes his step-mom tick, a little more interested in discovering for himself what God's love could mean in his life. 

Enjoy your day.  Enjoy this blog.