Seeking Out the Fruits of Failure

I didn’t pass a test yesterday. I really don’t like the word failed, but that’s what I did. I failed a test. If I had passed, I would now have my Senior Professional of Human Resources certification through the Society for Human Resources Management, a professional organization I’ve been a member of for the past two years, and would be on to the next adventure.

To prepare, I took an intensive, 12-week college prep course. In addition to the 1200 miles I put on the car and the 40 hours of class time I invested, I also spent about 400 hours studying on my own. (Do I even need to mention my 15 years of progressive human resources experience?) To have all of that in my favor and still not receive a notification of, “Congratulations, you passed!” at the end of the four-hour on-line test, I was not only disappointed but shocked beyond words.

As is probably typical with people who fail in some way, I kicked myself for having had the confidence to believe I would succeed in the first place. Next, I kicked myself for having told anyone I would be attempting the certification. Next, I kicked myself for not being better prepared. By the time I braved the winter storm and pulled the car back into the safety of the garage, I was pretty black and blue from all that kicking. My eyes were kind of puffy, too, from all the tears.

My husband wisely and lovingly tolerated my self-pity that evening. I ate too much, took a hot shower, and went to bed early. I wanted to say, “I’ll never try that again. In fact, I think I’ll just stop writing and blogging. Hey, while I’m at it, maybe I’ll just take myself off Facebook, too.” By the morning, though, I knew I didn’t have it in me to withdraw from so many things that give me such pleasure.

I have spent my life encouraging my family, my co-workers, my friends, anyone I’ve run across who has failed at something to get up, dust themselves off, and try again. I have reminded them that they were further along than people who hadn’t yet found the courage to try.

Failure makes you grow, makes you stronger, more resilient. I have always reasoned that, if you can learn from it and do better the next time, you haven’t really, truly failed.

What would I be if I couldn’t follow my own advice?

I’ve decided this week to focus on failure and the invaluable lessons we receive in return. I’ll research and report on others who have encountered it but have found success in the end.

Why do we try to hide our failure? We need to be OK with it, not only with others but with ourselves. Maybe we’ll all inch a little closer to getting our lives together in the process.

Enjoy your week. Enjoy this blog.