Had they lived to see the 8th of December this year, my mom and dad would have celebrated their 61st anniversary. As it is, they are much better off where they are. My mom can jump from cloud to cloud now without having to catch her breath, and my dad knows exactly what’s what.
When I think about heaven, I know it is all about God and His glory. I have heard that we won’t remember our earthly relationships because we will be so enthralled by God’s presence, but I just can’t wrap my mind around it. I cannot think about one parent without seeing the other right alongside. I just cannot imagine that the two didn’t re-connect in a loving embrace, flooded with memories of all things good, once they both stood at heaven’s gates.
If you have followed these posts any time at all, you know how blessed I feel to have grown up the way I did. Mayberry had nothing on my little Michigan town growing up—at least that’s how we saw it.
Everyone seemed to know my dad, whether from his lifelong history in Owosso or from his leadership in the church or from his position as Transportation Supervisor for the public school system. He walked with a spring in his step, whistling a tune and stopping only to greet others on his path. Slow to anger but quick to respond, I always said that if you wanted to see what God looked like you just had to look to my dad.
My mother was a steely combination of beauty and brains, and I know my dad wondered every day how he managed to snag her. She was everything to him. He used to wait for her to order in a restaurant so he could say, “I’ll have the same.” She would send him to the store for milk and bread, but he would want her to write the check out first. She made the decision on the finances, the purchases, the selling, the decorating, the landscaping, the vacations, etc.
It’s not that my dad was “whooped” so much as he knew what he had in my mom. Because of her savvy business sense, Mom made the dollar stretch in such a way that we never even knew we were in want. She knew when to push and when to hold her tongue with him. And on those occasions where Dad took a firm stand on something, he got no argument from her.
For the wealth of memories my mom and dad gave me, I am always astounded that they even knew how to parent or how to sustain a marriage.
My mother lost her own mother to death when she was seven years old. My father lost his own father to separation and divorce when he was too young to remember. Mom quit school after her junior year because she had been left alone in Bad Axe while her dad took a job in Owosso and she just couldn’t stand being alone any longer. My dad quit school in 8th grade so that he could go to work and contribute to the family budget.
Their early years together were marked with flawed decisions that would topple the strongest of marriages. So, what changed?
They were introduced to the idea of loving kindness and complete forgiveness through a relationship with Jesus Christ. They accepted the invitation and never looked back.
They taught me:
- God first – When Mom was carrying me and had four other children to care for, she and Dad had to choose between paying for health insurance and tithing. They chose to tithe, lapsing their insurance. Somehow they managed to save enough to pay the hospital delivery bill in full when I was born.
- Each child is special – Mom didn’t call me Sweetie Britches every day, though I’m sure I earned that name every day! But when she did, I felt so special, like it was a term of endearment borne just for me.
- To give people second chances – When I was a kid, I had a fondness for cherry cough syrup and would take secret nips from the bottle in the medicine cabinet. One day my mom caught me red-handed. She was all ready to spank me when I started to cry. She held me back from her and looked me straight in the eye. “Are you ever going to do this again?” “No!” I cried. She didn’t spank me. And I never did it again.
- Humility – I used to ask, “Mom, do you think I’m pretty?” Her answer was always the same: “Annamarie, what’s important is what’s on the inside.”
- Honesty – I found a $20 bill in the gutter on my paper route once and immediately began making plans for it. Mom made me go to our neighbor and ask if he had lost any money. Two weeks later, the man said he had asked all his friends and family, but no one had lost the twenty. I still remember what I bought with it: a pair of dark purple corduroy pants with a light purple polka-dot blouse with tulip sleeves to match. I always wondered what type of impression the situation left on our neighbor.
- Unconditional love – My parents accepted me, even when I made decisions that disappointed them. I remember being 20 years old, a virgin one day and pregnant the next. I will never forget how afraid I was to tell them nor how supported I felt by their loving response.
- Family loyalty – Ten years after the Unconditional Love experience, I found myself in a crumbling marriage with two scared little kids. Mom and Dad made the trip on a bus all the way down to Arlington, Texas to move me to Michigan. Health had begun a steady decline for both of them, but they didn’t seem to give their welfare a second thought. They knew how much I needed them, and they were there for me.
- Service – I have always had a love of and talent for music. I never would have entered so many talent contests and tried for so many small group ensembles or played so many instruments if my parents hadn't convinced me I could succeed and that I had a gift that could be used to the glory of God. I still feel them cheering me on and supporting me through it.
- Peace at the end of life – I often hear parents reflect on how blessed they are to have children who commit their lives to Christ. Here, I am the child. Yet, I am so blessed to have been the recipient of my parents’ legacy of love for God, knowing I will see them again on the other side.
What lessons will you leave your children?
Enjoy your day. Enjoy this blog.
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