"Stop the Insanity!" Implement These Six Stress Managers During the Holidays

It was Black Friday, and the crowd was huge and getting antsy. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be shoved back. On his second try, he was picked up and thrown to the end of the line. On his third attempt, he was knocked to the ground, kicked, and again, dumped in the back of the line. “That does it,” he said. “If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!” – from my current Reader’s Digest edition, submitted by L.B. Weinstein of Miami Beach, Florida.

If you’re reading this, you survived Thanksgiving and Black Friday and are now entrenched in Cyber Monday. Remember when we used to look forward to this time of year?

We’re just starting the holiday season, and already things are crazy—so radically different from that first Christmas. In our attempts to balance our lives through this season, we get mixed messages like:

• Remember to be grateful for what you have, but don’t miss those great deals!
• Catch up on work before the end of the year, but don’t forget to rest.
• Try to get some “me” time, but don’t forget to spend time with the family.
• Make sure to get your sleep, but don’t miss the door busters.
• Don’t eat too much, but you just have to make your famous cookies (or pie, or bread, or….)

We are torn hither and yon by responsibilities and marketing and wants and needs. All of this takes money, time, and focus we don’t have and can’t borrow. And we respond by making snap decisions that we regret all too soon.

Insanity, I say. Pure insanity.

Before the stress surrounding this season completely does you in, think about implementing these six steps into your days over the next month:

• Make three lists: a Must Do list, a Can’t Do list, and an It’d Be Nice To Do list. Make them now; I’ll wait…. Categorize anything you’ve already said “yes” to by answering the question, “Why do I think this is important?” (If the answer is, “Because other people expect this of me,” dig deeper.) View any invitations or duties between now and Christmas Eve through this same prism.
• Now take the Must Do list to your calendar and plug in the items. Do you still have time for adequate sleep, healthy food choices, meaningful exercise, and spending time with those you love? Have you reserved quality time with God? Have you left time for those daily activities that you can’t imagine doing without? If not, do you need to re-evaluate your must-dos?
• Now take the Must Do list to your budget. Do you have the money to do what this list suggests? If not, do you need to re-evaluate?
• When you're peering over the precipice of complete insanity, stop. And breathe. Literally, just breathe. Put down whatever you have in your hands. Get off by yourself. Drop your head and close your eyes. Count to four as you take in a deep breath. Count to four as you hold it. Count to four as you exhale. Count to four as you rest in anticipation of the next breath. Focus on your breathing and on your body’s response to it. You’ll notice that it only takes three or four rounds before aahhhh…. When you open your eyes again, you’ll be more focused, more fresh, and more able to deal with the task at hand.
• Give yourself permission to be sad. In this time of buy-buy-buy and rush-rush-rush, our marketers try to convince us that everyone else is having a great time because they are buying the product or dining in the restaurant or skiing on the slope that they’re advertising. The reality is that the holidays can be a very lonely time. It’s during the holidays that we’re reminded of that empty chair—perhaps due to death—perhaps due to a break-up or an estrangement. Be transparent enough to inform those closest of the sadness you’re struggling with. Not only will it help them help you, but it will free them to be vulnerable with you, too.
• Realize that not everyone you encounter will read this blog post! Totally stressed folks will cross your path over the next month. Your temptation will be to sling the crap right back at them. Resist. Why?  Because to succumb will take you off your stop-the-insanity focus. Yes, for once, it’s all about you.

Enjoy your day. Enjoy this blog.