Anna’s Six Rules of Wrestling

I’m a wrestler. Not the type who slips into a singlet and challenges the first person in her weight class who happens to come along. I would lose big. Though I hope I’d look semi-OK in the singlet.

No, I’m the type of wrestler who tries to wrap herself around an idea or thought or problem so fully that she thoroughly understands it and can utilize the final decision to her full advantage. The problem is that I drive myself (and those closest to me) crazy with the wrestling.

Sometimes it keeps me up at night. Sometimes I draw into myself so tightly that the rest of the world rolls right over me with scarce notice. I lose all track of time, and I don’t accomplish all that I set out to do. Before I know it, the problems or ideas begin to pile up and I can’t live the balanced life I was called to.

So how can I fully wrestle a problem or an idea through to a valid conclusion without driving myself to the brink of indecision? Well, I wrestled with it and came up with the following list:

1)     Pray about it. The bigger the decision, the bigger the prayer. More than anything, God wants relationship with us. He is, however, the consummate gentleman. He never muscles in on our problems. But when I invite Him to join in, I enjoy a clarity and a peace that I cannot manufacture on my own. And I can rest assured that the decision will please Him.

2)     Write it down. Could it be simpler? 

a.       I try to keep something with me all the time to record my ideas. My preferred tablet is a napkin – no kidding. I keep napkins in the console of my car and in my bedside table, and I can usually find one in my purse if I dig deep enough. I find that, once I write it down, I can let the “oh-no-I-might-forget-about-it” feeling go.

b.      If I’m really stumped by a problem or overwhelmed by the number of ideas rolling through my frontal cortex, I rely on clustering. I start with a blank sheet of paper and write like a mad woman for a short, specified time (two to five minutes) all the things that come to mind surrounding the idea or problem. I pay no attention to neatness or spelling or anything. Pausing is forbidden; I draw circles if my mind wants to pause. Once the allotted time has lapsed, I try to find relationship in the cluster. It helps me hone in on the possible solution.

3)     Ask a wide cross-section of associates what they think. I own the problem. I own the idea. But sometimes it helps to hear others’ perspectives.

4)     Wrestle in the morning. Research says that we do our best wrestling then because we’re the most rested. Barring that, eating healthy fats (i.e., pistachios) helps me streamline my thinking. If I must make a decision at night, I commit to reviewing it in the morning before making the decision “official.”

5)     Set a time limit. I don’t spend so much time on any one of these areas that I derail myself from making a decision. It’s easy, especially for the perfectionist like me, to use “research” as a crutch.

6)     Remember that no decision ever truly has to be “final.” Ninety-nine percent of the decisions in our lives can be changed if prayer or research or experience tells us that we made the wrong decision on the outset. In fact, I have found that people appreciate the transparency and humility a statement like, “Once I lived with it for awhile, I realized…” brings.

Be thoughtful. Be deliberate. But be at peace.

Enjoy your day. Enjoy this blog.