Finding Comfort in the Midst of Discomfort

Well, folks, I got another 44,382 steps in this week, for a total of 435,749 steps walked since Memorial Day. It was kind of a light week for me since I was heavy on meetings, travel, and training. I promise to do better next week!

I like order. Surprised? I didn’t think you would be.

As a child, I fantasized about owning my own grocery store. I figured I would be rich (i.e., hello! I own all the food in town!). I would also be able to play with all the buttons on the cash register, organize all the shelves, and freely eat candy bars anytime I wanted. That dream soon gave way to other dreams like writing. But I never lost my sense of awe over order.

To this day, I love going into fabric stores and running my fingers over the material. I love the sense of security I feel in walking a path I know well. I love folding laundry, especially towels. I love fanning through all of the clean, white, lined paper that comes out this time of year in anticipation of the first day of school.

Order brings comfort, so I guess I like comfort, too.

I know I like comfort.

I struggled for many years as a single mother. (I could tell you so many stories, but I try to keep these blog posts to about 500 words!)

Through everything, the Lord led me. He took care of me in ways that I cannot account for now. He helped us stretch our dollars so that we never missed a month’s rent or a car payment.

He showered grace and peace on me in the midst of some very traumatic times.

He enlisted the help of my family who prayed over me, listened to my rants and worries, watched my kids while I worked, and generally bent over backward to help me succeed. My mom never signed a card or a letter without prefacing it with, “Love and prayers.”

As fond as my memories are of that time, I was glad to close that chapter of my life, get into more reliable and lucrative employment, meet and marry my sweet Johnny, and just…settle…down….

I just want order. I just want comfort. But I’m starting to get uncomfortable in all that comfort.

I feel like the Lord wants more of me, wants me to reach out to others more, wants me to rely less on myself and more on Him.

Could I not pass my life lessons, these blessings I received in being a part of a strong, Christian family, onto someone who hasn’t had the same privilege?

Who?

Where is the Lord trying to lead me?

I’m not sure yet what my path will look like, but I know I need to be willing to get a little uncomfortable in the process.

I am willing.

It’s scary for me to say this because I feel like I’m completely handing my future over to God. But I also have to remind myself that He has my good at heart, that He has promised to work all things together for my good, and that my only obligation is to be obedient to what He asks me to do.

He will take care of the rest.

Enjoy your day. Enjoy this blog.