Resolutions -- Do People Still Make Those?

I walk into my neighborhood McDonalds, like I do almost every morning. The Christmas decorations still hang on the wall and cling to the windows. The music still reflects silver-tinseled Santa Claus renditions and probably will until around the 7^th of January.

I like the lady behind the counter; she’s one who will actually greet me. She’ll let me place my order instead of assuming she knows that I want. She’s one who will engage in conversation instead of hustling me along so that she can get back to the gossip with the girl at the drive-through window. And she’ll say, ‘thank-you’ when the order is filled instead of expecting me, the customer, to say it.

“Morning. Can I have a large diet Coke please?”

“What…you’re not getting your usual…the number two, substitute biscuit? Is this some kind of resolution or something?”

“Oh, no…I’ve kind of given up on making those.”

“Yeah, me too. The last time I made a resolution….”

I can’t even be honest with the McDonalds lady? Am I afraid of disappointing her? Am I afraid that she might try to hold me accountable the next time I order the usual? ‘I thought you resolved to go without these melt-in-your-mouth marvels for the year….’ And then where would I be? What would I have as a comeback? No, it’s just easier to pretend that, ‘Hey, I just want a diet Coke today, OK?’

Wow. I’m kind of a mess. Please tell me I’m not the only one!

Of course I have a million resolutions for 2012. I have financial, relationship, spiritual, organizational, and career goals (and I’m probably forgetting a few), so I need to come up with resolutions for all of them, right? Would you expect anything less of me by now?

I have a way of overtaxing myself to the point that I accomplish nothing rather than focusing on the one or two things most crucial to my sense of well-being. I’m not sure I know how to change this about myself. I’m not sure I want to change it. It’s kind of my little game, pretending I have it all together – relaxed, confident – when inside my mind is going, going, going, constantly going, thinking of new ideas, considering problems from different angles…. And actually, to say I accomplish nothing is incorrect. I accomplish a lot in this manner. It’s a discombobulated approach, but it gets me where I need to go.

For 2012, my overarching resolution is not to beat myself up. I need to accept myself as I am, enjoy where I am and what I’m doing right now. Of course I need to look to the future, but that doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate today.

For 2012, I will thank the Lord for his goodness instead of praying, “Thanks for this, but….” I will focus less on faults and celebrate accomplishments, both in myself and in others. I will focus more on what God thinks of me and less on what others may or may not think of me. If I can pull this off, I will have peace no matter how many nights my ideas keep me from sleep.

Enjoy your day. Enjoy this blog.